Minus 15 months Boost levels of folic acid and zinc (to help fertility) before even thinking about getting pregnant.

Supplements are available from chemists. Stop smoking and start saving.

Unlisted London (0870 225 5007) offers a tailor-made pre- and post- conception package which combines flotation tanks, acupuncture, nutrition and exercise.

Minus 12 months You don't want a summer baby (because he or she will be youngest in the class and most likely not to make it to the top of the class), you want a November-to-January baby. Obstetricians are away in summer, another reason to start trying now. Conception help on the NHS (must be referred by GP) at University College Hospital (020 7387 9300). Birth guru Professor Eric Jauniaux at The Portland Hospital (020 7580 4400) also does conception counselling and helps women who have had miscarriages.

Minus 8 months You're pregnant. As soon as baby is official (ie at 12 weeks), book your obstetrician. St Mary's (020 7886 6666), Queen Charlotte's (020 8383 1111) and Chelsea Westminster (020 8746 8922) are the best NHS hospitals. Book a visit and ask questions on epidural policy, inducing and number of Caesareans. Mr Peter Cass (020 7935 7341) at The Portland or Mr Teoh (020 7886 2388) at St Mary's are the private favourites.

Minus 7 months This is the time to move to Queen's Park or Westminster, homes to the Dorothy Gardner Centre (020 7641 5870) and Mary Patterson Nursery (020 7641 5804), two of the best state nurseries. Order your 4D scan from Baby Bond Clinic near Heathrow (0845 35 111 55), which allows you to see if there's a family resemblance. They will then hand you a video, DVD, a clear photograph and tell you the sex without an amniocentesis.

Check out Sadie Frost's favourite, Triyoga (020 7483 3344). The Primrose Hill centre of Zen offers antenatal and postnatal Mummy and Me classes, as well as baby massage classes, at only Pounds 10 per class.

Will also send teachers to your home.

Minus 6 months Buy the book What To Expect When You're Expecting which sums it all up.

Decorate the nursery and start showing up at church if you want your child christened. Book antenatal classes (and make lifelong friends) with the National Childbirth Trust (0870 444 8707) or Christine Hill (020 8994 4349).

Organise maternity help from British Doulas (020 7259 2626) at Pounds 10 an hour, or Little Darlings Nanny Agency (0870 777 1936) at Pounds 500 to Pounds 850 per week.

Minus 3 months Get friends and siblings to hand down all their baby stuff.

If you need a new cot, The Stokke Sleepi Mini Bed grows with the child and looks good, Pounds 499, from Whizzy Wheels (0116 270 2888). If you're considering real nappies, which save money and are more eco- friendly, Bambino Mio's (01604 883 777; www.bambino.co.uk) Birth to Potty pack at Pounds 199.95 comes with 48 nappies and 16 covers.

Minus 1 month Go swimming every day the exercise is comfortable and relaxes you. Drink milk for heartburn. Have a friend send over a load from Baby Gap US (a quarter of the UK price) or try Lilliput in Queenstown Road (020 7720 5554) they have brilliant sales. Be like Gwyneth and order a birth pool for Pounds 400 from Gentle Water Birthing (01273 474 927).

Minus 3 weeks Start sleeping on your left side so baby is in the best position for birth. Get the buggy. Be trendy (like Jude Law and Kate Moss) and buy the Combi Lightweight, Pounds 99, or the Frog Bugaboo, Pounds 499, from Baby Concierge (020 8202 4060).

Pamper yourself (manicure, pedicure etc) because you will never have time to again. Ditto with going out in the evenings.

2 hours Try to discourage visitors from coming to see you.

You need at least two days of privacy. Drink lots of water which will help with breastfeeding. Tell your GP your baby's been born and book your six-week check-up. If you have the baby at home, your GP will give you a postnatal examination. Choose a name that won't make your baby blush.

3 days Sophie Wessex's smartest move was to get the hairdresser into the hospital room.

Unlisted (0870 2255 007) offers gift vouchers for a stylist, makeup person, masseur etc to get you looking your best for receiving visitors and the new parent snaps.

1 week Choose godparents wisely.

Remember that hormones make you very emotional so don't pick the last person who called to congratulate you. Book church for christening and order birth announcement card.

2 weeks Advertise for an extra pair of hands in TNT, The Lady and Simply Childcare(020 7701 6111).

If working, you need a pro: Nannies of St James (020 7348 6100) sends full- and part-time nannies all over London. Start using Bill Amberg sling (020 7727 3560), like Kate Winslet (left). Or try the popular Baby Bjorn, Pounds 50, at Mothercare.

8 weeks Start photo albums now or you will never catch up. Start first-year book (to present on birthday) it's well worth the effort.

2 months Buy a baby gym, inexplicable hours of fun for your child.

Time to start bonding with other mothers.

This is about making friends and future professional contacts for you. The Electric Cinema (020 7908 9696) offers a weekly film for babies under a year and their carers. Birthlight in Islington (020 7689 3040) offers six baby yoga classes for Pounds 60. Crechendo (020 8772 8120) is a play gym for children with lots of smiley Kiwi assistants. Book a course in baby massage at the Body Basics School of Body Therapy (020 8522 1414).

3 months Boost your child's IQ with Trapeze Learning (020 7428 8931), a new baby-friendly language class designed to help speed up the formation of synapses in young children.

Playing classical music (particularly Mozart) has also been proven to boost children's IQ.

6 months As baby starts to crawl and explore, try local libraries, churches and community services which offer activities for mother and child. Take a break alone with your partner: if no longer breastfeeding, get Granny to babysit and have a romantic weekend together (book into local BB if necessary sleep is all that matters).

9 months Start thinking about first birthday party.

For cakes in the shape of Cinderella's Castle try Jane Asher Party Cakes (020 7584 6177). Teach your baby to swim: your local sports centre will offer classes and group lessons.

18 months Start singing nursery rhymes and your baby will soon be singing with you.

Start potty training (18 months to 2 years). There are often tests for nursery school so Osbourne Cawkell (020 7792 1355) sends private tutors to the home, Pounds 32.96 an hour. Go to local library for books and reading groups.

2 years Teach Snap and Happy Families to enhance future maths skills.

Toddlers can exhaust the best of parents. The New Learning Centre in West Hampstead (020 7794 0321) offers parenting classes. Start registering for prep schools.

3 years Save your face and stop swearing in front of your child.

Give them a football or tennis ball and they'll learn to throw it back.

This is your last year of freedom from school life when you can take a spontaneous holiday with the kids: Hillwood Holidays (01923 290 700) offers skiing and sailing holidays with excellent childcare. Also try Club Med and Mark Warner.

Top of the range are Powder Byrne (020 8246 5300; www.powderbyrne.com) which specialises in happy-clappy family holidays all over the world with a free creche; or Scott Dunn (020 8682 5050). Beware: these are the stressful years: marriage counsellors suggest getting away for few weekends every year minus the children.

4 years Set disciplinary rules now. Try saying 'One two three' slowly. If they haven't stopped by 'three' take away a treat.

It works like magic. Extra activities begin. Tennis Services (020 8749 0780) at the Next Generation Club offers weekly lessons and holiday programmes.

Blue Action (020 8458 7729) teaches the best of them to swim.

Stagecoach (01932 254 333) has many programmes to choose from. Kumon Maths (0800 854 714) offers training for the future genius. Start giving music lessons to help with maths and memory. Set disciplinary rules down now.

Age 5 School proper starts.

If not working, a gym membership near school is now necessary to gossip with all the other mothers after drop-off. If working, organise coffee mornings on a morning off. Stand for class rep (teaches you inner working of school and makes good impression on headmaster and child). Teach child to ride a bike.

Age 6 Give them their first seaside holiday so they learn to swim in the sea and how to bodysurf. Teach them Scrabble, chess and rummy, and play with them. It'll teach them discipline, spelling, forward planning, maths and following rules.